he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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