you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
