That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
