saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
