We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
