Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
