and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
