Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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