You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
