My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
