I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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