Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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