I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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