Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
