idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
