She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
