Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
