so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
