so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
