I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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