He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
