We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
