She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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