Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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