I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
