You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
