Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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