Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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