Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
