Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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