I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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