are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
