I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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