I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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