Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
