Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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