I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
