Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
