Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We are two peas in an std pod
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
