Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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