you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
