you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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