The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my phone needs a breathalizer
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
