Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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