I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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