yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
