3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
someone owes me an orgasm
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
