standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
