I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this will be a night to untag.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
that is very illegal...i love you.
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