when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
