It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
