no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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