Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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