I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You were trust falling into bushes
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
